One of the first things I get asked when I’m traveling and am approached by a stranger is, “Are you alone?”
“Why yes, stranger, I am absolutely completely alone! I am telling you this because I want you to follow me down a dark alley and attack me!”
That of course, is not my real answer. I usually just lie and say I’m meeting up with a friend later and that usually discourages them from continuing to speak to me, and I walk on. This interaction usually occurs between some sort of male, and I’ll let you know that their intention isn’t just to be kind, if you catch my drift.
I’ve started to realize during my travels, that it’s still very taboo for a woman to travel by herself. I was stopped and searched at the Canadian border when I went on a solo day trip to Vancouver because they were suspicious that I was on my own. Men will follow me and not leave me alone until I mention I’m meeting someone. It’s awkward to eat in a restaurant or do activities on my own without staring eyes. Friends and family get overly concerned for me when I tell them I’m going somewhere alone, and claim I will be unsafe or bored without company. There seems to be a lot “wrong” with going anywhere by myself.
As an independent person, I’ve realized over time that sometimes the best way to do something is by yourself. Yes, it’s certainly fun to have a companion and to enjoy the world with them, but since travel is expensive and not everyone shares the same locational desires as I, it’s easier to just get up and go and not use the lack of a travel mate as an excuse not to go. And when you’re a woman, it makes it even more tough to be okay with going somewhere alone, because there are still a lot of places in the world that are not exactly friendly towards women, or places where we really must watch our guard. But I am not okay with that. I am not okay with allowing this stigma of it not being safe to be a woman alone out in the world to stop me or other females from seeing the world. So I go. I leave and see the places I want to see. I may get stared at or feel in danger at times, but I have a very bad case of wanderlust, and it’s not going to be satisfied by sitting around and waiting for someone with the same amount of passion as myself.
London is a great place for a solo female traveler. It’s definitely one of the safer major cities of the world, and allows for a lot of freedom as a woman. I have never felt unsafe in Central London. It’s the perfect place for a person to go alone if they want to test out the solo travel experience, whether they are male or female. There’s plenty to do and see, and none of it necessarily involves a partner. Seeing musicals and plays, sightseeing, exploring markets and drinking tea are all activities which don’t need to include another human, and there’s so many people around that you’ll never look out of place for being by yourself.
I guess I just want to encourage all those who are afraid to venture alone (especially women), that it’s not scary and definitely not embarrassing or sad. In fact, it’s one of the most brave things a person can do. Wanting to see the world is a noble pursuit, and even if you’re by yourself, you’re still experiencing the most wonderful thing, and no one can take that feeling away from you. I used to be so scared of going anywhere by myself (despite being an introvert), but my first solo trip was to London, and it was the best five days of my life. Previous to that trip, I’d already lived in England during my study abroad, and had been to London and other places in the UK and Europe, but only with friends, and coming back alone was priceless. I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I could go at my own pace and stay or leave a place whenever I felt like it.
Obviously, there are some cons to traveling alone, (especially if you’re too shy to ask someone to take your photo in front of Big Ben, which in that case, I guess the dreaded “selfie-stick” would come in handy) but there are infinitely more reasons why giving up the fear is a better choice. So don’t be afraid. Go to Europe alone. Go to South America without a partner. Start small by taking a day trip to the nearest next state or country and work up to taking a bigger trip. Try it out! It won’t hurt you. If you really hate it, then you can always go back to traveling with a friend again.
Author: Samantha O'Brochta
Samantha was formerly an expat in London in 2014/15 before moving to New York City, where she can be found blogging and taking photographs for her site Some Call Me Adventurous. Samantha has an affinity for traveling the world, watching BBC shows, making people laugh, dancing alone in her room, dressing fashionably, and attempting to make Pinterest crafts with disastrous end results.
I lived alone in London for two years and loved the freedom of being able to go anywhere and confortably sit and have a beer alone in a pub! I loved it!
Good for you, Samantha. Even for males it can be a problem in some areas to travel alone. But, of course, even more for a female. Keep on travelling !!!
Well put, Dave, from someone who’s done the same 🙂 !
Perfect timing as I finally decide I’m not waiting on someone to come with me to London. I’ve been a solo female traveler in the US for years now, and haven’t had any unsafe or negative experiences due to being alone. I still have some trepidation toward taking that long flight to a new country by myself, but this article is comforting.
I traveled to London by myself last year and I loved it. No one to consult with about dinner or what to do when. It was glorious!
Is your fear of the long flight or the travel itself? I traveled to the UK alone once or twice a year for 15 years. My only problem was showing my passport to get in. I made the mistake of telling them that I had only $5 (I had an ATM card, but this was early on), plus my passport only showed Heathrow stamps. I stood waiting while they ran my name through whatever databases they had until they finally had to admit they came up with nothing. Other than that, nothing. My flights are always non-eventful. I had an audio book to listen to and I’m able to sleep on the plane (so much so that I once woke up while landing). Go for it.
I have done a lot of traveling around the UK alone. I never felt in danger at any time. I used to travel and find overnight accommodations when I got there . Always close to the train station would be a tourist place who for a small fee that was later refunded would find me suitable accommodations in my price range. I loved the freedom of visiting places I wanted to see and eating when and where I wanted. The only thing I did not do was wander around alone after dark. I had a lot of enjoyment and often ended up in places I had not thought about going to. Having been born in the UK finding my way around was never a problem and London to me was easy. Wish I could still do it.. I would never travel alone in Canada where I have lived for many years as I would not feel safe.
Women in the states often complain that they hate men “bothering them” but then when they see an attractive man, they lament: “Why won’t he approach me and ask me out?”
The cutest, most attractive and best dressed men out there are not attracted to women. Of course if you were a man it would be a different story.
I love London and am planning a trip late in the year. I had a great trip planned in London and Bath over the New Year Holidays this past year. Suddenly my significant other became my significant ex and it was too late to rearrange it all for me to go alone. Now I had nowhere to stay in London and could not afford hotels during that time. So I am planning a fab trip to London for just me in the weeks leading up to Christmas 2015. I am so looking forward to it and planning it is half the fun. I don’t feel nervous but I do tire of people “feeling sorry” for me that I “have to go alone”. Lol! Enjoyed your article very much.
I don’t know if it’s necessarily still a taboo, except in very particular areas. People showing concern for your safety is not the same thing as them disapproving.
That said, I’ve never had any problems traveling or dining alone. I mean, business people do it all the time, so I guess for an individual it might be a brave thing based on their own personal fears, but I’ve never really found anything to be overly concerned about. Unless you are really super naive about it, being a traveler doesn’t change the fact that you’re just another face amongst millions.
I’m more afraid of the flight than anything, but that’s just because being stuck in a small place, unable to escape, drives me a bit crazy 😉
As an independent woman myself, how I wish there was a way for like travelers to connect and then travel together. I have a lovely array of friends, but they are either not single or are not financially able to travel in the same manner. If anyone knows of any resources, websites, or blogs, please pass it along. Thanks!
Since my husband died I have been to Europe and the USA on my own, besides many trips in the UK. I love it because I can be utterly selfish and do exactly what I want to do, and you talk to a lot more people than you would if you had companions. I have never felt threatened or uncomfortable about being by myself. There are only two problems .. one is that when you get home you have nobody to share the memories with, and the other is that if you are on an organised trip you are always a little nervous that nobody will miss you and you might get left behind!
I’ve traveled alone in the US a lot for business. Never had any problems although I did get some funny looks, particularly in bars and restaurants. Funny looks don’t bother me. Yes, I’ve had guys try to sit with me or talk to me, but most take the hint – I always carry a book with me and would read while I eat.
My best solo traveling experience was in London. I had a blast and I always felt safe. Londoners are truly fantastic people!
In college I hitch hiked from London to Aberdeen , Scotland alone. I mostly followed the rules, never ride with a lone male, Lorrie drivers are usually safe ,because they’re going somewhere. Always keep your rusack with you, try to sit on the back seat…etc. One leg of my journey was from Edinburgh to Aberdeen, I had walked 6 miles, trying to get a ride, It was November, rainy cold , I was chased by sheep.A car finally stops, a man in his 30’s (I was 20) I threw my rusack in the back seat, got in the front seat and off we went. He drove me straight to my friends flat and was a total gentleman. This story is 36 years old . Please don’t do this now.
I felt like I was reading my own words. I always travel alone. I love it. I love not having to worry about what the other person wants to do, or waiting on another person. I love the total freedom of going alone. In fact, I’m going to Dublin, Ireland in March by MYSELF and couldn’t be happier.
I agree with this article. So many women are afraid to venture off by themselves. They think they need someone with them. With that thinking they are preventing themselves from so many life experiences that are absolutely amazing. I have visited England by myself twice now and am ready to go back again. If I had waited for someone else to travel with me I would not have had the life changing experiences that I have had or seen the wonderful things that I have seen. Women should never be afraid to experience new places and things alone. There is a whole world out there!
I have spent the last 50 years wandering around the highways & byways of Britain alone (& vast chunks of the rest of the world too, for that matter), & I would hope that any lady-traveller coming to our shores feels safe & able to go where she will.
I also hope that any one of you, should you be unlucky enough to find yourself in difficulty, would ask any of us for help (London is sometimes not quite as reliable in this as ‘uipcountry’ perhaps).
I had a wonderful solo experience in London several years ago. My mother, my daughter and I have all been solo travelers and never have had a bad experience.
Good for you! Never stop travelling alone, except of course in countries where women alone truly would be in danger. However that leaves most of the civilized world still available to you. I love coming alone to London & do so every chance I get.. I stay where I want to stay, do what I want to do when I want to do it and see all the usual and also the off beat places I have read about and want to explore. I meet lovely people to chat with who are impressed that I am on my own and unafraid – especially the men! Like Jill I never wander alone around the streets late at night. Let’s be sensible. However I have gone to the theatre and concerts and eaten in restaurants and enjoyed my pint in a pub. To me London city and is perfect for women travelling solo.
I’ve really enjoyed my solo travels. Not everyone has had the same desires to travel in the same places I do, so I just make sure that I learn the language, or at least enough to get by. The UK and London in particular are very easy places to travel alone, no matter what your gender,
As for men bothering me, I just didn’t run into that experience. I just kept my wits about me, and used the same common sense that I would use in the States. In fact, I dated a lot … on 4 continents so far!
As for anyone feeling sorry for me? Nope, most of my still-married friends were very jealous! Best of all, I met my fiancé while travelling on my own in London, so I have nothing but high recommendations to any woman who wants to travel solo.
Brava! I just went to London on my own this past November. I’d been before, but not for a very long time (23 years) and never on my own. I did whatever I wanted, went wherever I liked, and had a blast. After 13 years as a mostly-stay-at-home-mom, it was great to find myself again, away from all the day-to-day worries and demands.
And, yes, I felt quite safe. I was always aware, but I felt more secure than I did when I lived in New York, for example.
I highly recommend it!
I have traveled to the UK ..and went on a Travalgar Tour –by Myself. I then went to Australia 2 times, Ireland 3 times—–ALONE. Common Sense is a Must….but “Waiting for someone to travel with you” , is a Waste of your time …….Enjoy yourself !!
I try to have two solo trips to London every year. The city energizes, educates and excites this 71 year old woman. Traveling solo often lets you know what a great travel companion you are.
Good to hear that another almost senior woman enjoys solo travel….I find it easy & fun traveling alone as well as with others. Keep on traveling, my friend!
I am also an older woman who travels alone – particularly to the UK. My biggest problem when I’m in the UK, Holland or Germany is that I am taken for a local and asked directions to places I have little or no idea how to reach. I think it is safe is Western Europe as long as you employ the same common sense you would in your own country. You know there are certain places it is probably not a good idea to go to after dark alone.
However, one of my strangest experiences was walking alone past Russell Square at about 10p.m. on a foggy evening. I swear I could hear the theme of the movie “Werewolves of London” playing in the background…LOL
My friends and family talked me into going to Europe with a tour company (going in May) instead but a trip to London is still on the bucket list!
I’ve travelled alone – recently in London. When you are a middle aged woman average looking woman, you will NOT receive ‘strange looks’ etc. People leave you alone. Unfortunately you will be VERY alone because people don’t really want to socialize with such a woman. The author’s picture shows that she is quite pretty and young – LOTS of people will talk to her and wonder why she is alone! It’s all in the phase of life. Oh, and BTW – I am NOT complaining and I had a GREAT time.
I go on a 2 week trip by myself once a year. I have been happily married for 42 years and it’s nice to go somewhere without having to think about someone else’s wants. My husband goes to V
egas for two weeks and I go to London. We take a 2 week winter trip together. I agree with Jean Triebel.
I’ve had great experiences traveling alone, both abroad and in the US. A delightful difference is, in England I feel perfectly comfortable sitting in a pub, having a meal and a pint and always wind up having a lovely few hours chatting with people at their local. I adore exploring culture and art, and those activities are very suited to a solo traveler. Even though I’m more of an introvert, I find traveling alone makes me more approachable (and not in the weird creepy guy kind of way) and people have been quick to lend a hand with a heavy bag (‘mature’ woman here) and directions or suggestions of things to do.
I’m very tired of traveling alone, but I still would do it if I wanted to go somewhere. I did meet several really nice people on my autumn UK holiday, but no one special. Alas! Maybe next time. 🙂
I’d like to go to Europe and see some online friends. Despite some people saying I should be, I’m not afraid to do it. I just dislike not having anyone to share cool experiences with. When you talk about them, people don’t care because they don’t mean anything to anyone but you.
I’ve traveled alone all over the UK, France, and Italy, and never encountered staring eyes or been accosted by a stranger. Quite the contrary – most people I’ve met have been really helpful and friendly, and not in a way that would suggest they’re looking for anything else. I think it all comes down to how comfortable you are in your surroundings. I find taking my Kindle with me to read while eating dinner provides something to do other than look around and wonder if people think I’m out of place. I love traveling alone and the one time I took my daughter with me, I regretted it.
Thank you for this article! I have enjoyed traveling alone in London and environs several times…all good experiences! I have never felt threatened or ‘lonely’. And, as mentioned, I didn’t have to go anywhere I didn’t want to go!
Living such an amazing experience is my dream. Thanks you for the advice.
I have traveled to London by myself once or twice a year for about 10 years now. As soon as I make my reservations, I print out a calendar and start filling it up with plays, events, London Walks, blocked out times for shopping/markets etc. I’m always so busy and “on a mission” that I never feel lonely or out of place! People do think it’s a bit odd (my family and co-workers, mostly), but I think it’s more the fact that they would never travel alone than that they think I’m odd for doing it! I’ve traveled with family members before, and the moaning, sighing and complaining (“Why does this have fennel in it?,” “Is that guide ever going to stop talking?” “Is it about over?” etc.) were more than I could bear. I’d love to travel with someone who loved London as much as I do, but I’ve yet to find such a person, so I have no problem going on my own.
I am coming over to London in May [alone ] .I have been 2 other times but always with a friend to stay with .It has been great reading all these positive comments.Has boosted my confidence.Even before I leave people are saying ‘what you are going alone?”i FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTERREADING THESE COMMENTS .Can’t wait.London is agreat city.
There is nothing wrong with travelling alone as long as you have someone with you..
Loved your text ! Just going on my first solo journey next week ! I choose London to see if i like to be alone in another country..never went alone anywhere…i just cant wait 🙂